Seeking Out High Adventure

Nightmares

2008-01-18T05:38:24Z

Drabble drabble drabble... supposed to be for 30Ki but there's no kiss in this one and it seemed improper to put one in... well, if I give it a different ending... XD It's not that good... at all. It rambles.

Title: Nightmares

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Pairings/Characters: Suzumiya Haruhi, Koizumi Itsuki

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Word Count: 530

Summary: Violent dreams with violent ends

She’d been here before, this place utterly devoid of all life and color. She’d seen these things before, massive monsters of energy that destroyed all in their path. She knew this was a dream, so he was the last person she’d expected to see there.

He looked surprised to see her as well. Shocked, upset even. He stared at her from across the sky, floating in a tiny red bubble with one question written plainly on his face: why are you here?

It wasn’t like she knew anymore than he did. This place, her place in it, it seemed familiar. She felt as though she belonged here, like something here was calling out to her. At the same time she felt embarrassed, as though there were something here that she should not have seen.

She should not have seen Koizumi here. The look on his face was evidence enough of that. His customary smile was replaced by a look of dismay and confusion. But why should he be so panicked at seeing her? After all, it was just a dream.

She saw the great beast raise its arm in the air and swing it down on her friend. He plummeted towards the ground at an alarming speed, while all of her strength left her body in a rush. She heard the sickening thud against the ground like it was the only sound in the world.

With a scream, she rushed to the side of the rooftop, searching for her friend and hoping she wouldn’t ever find him. When she couldn’t spot him she ran to the door that lead to the stairs, yanking and tugging at the knob without any luck. There was a raw panic in her body and she threw herself against the locked door but to no avail.

If this was a dream, the door should be unlocked. But it wasn’t.

If this was a dream, she could jump off the side of the building and not be hurt. But the very real sound of her friend’s body hitting the pavement still rang in her ears.

If this was a dream, Koizumi wasn’t even really hurt. He wasn’t even really here. But the look on his face when he saw her told her otherwise.

This was no dream, it was a nightmare.

She shut her eyes tightly, crying and seething at the same time. No nightmare was going to take her, no nightmare was going to take her friends, not if she had anything to say about it. She began to push her way through the nightmare, like one would push their way through water. It was difficult, especially with the monster screaming in the background.

wakeupwakeupwakeupWAKEUP!

Suddenly she sprang up in her bed, clutching her blankets and breathing heavily. She felt drained, but there was something she had to do.

She snatched her cell phone from her bedside and dialed his number. Each ring that went unanswered pulled her heart down, down, down into the cold terror beneath.

She had to know. She had to know he was okay, that there was still a line between dream and reality.

The rings stopped and a voice answered.

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and Concrit are always welcome

Haruhiism

2007-10-16T00:07:32Z

Such a crack fic, but it made me giggle.

Title: Haruhiism

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Pairings/Chracters: Haruhi, Kyon, Koizumi

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Word Count: 429

Summary: The power of words.

The prompt was simple enough on paper: “If you could change the world, how would you do it? Explain.”

The answer to the essay wasn’t meant to be a simple one, considering the teacher had assigned it as a take-home essay. There would be no reward for the writer’s whose opinions were “I would kiss it and make it all better”.

Koizumi had to admit that the teacher was to be admired; after all, she was trying to get her students to think on a larger scale and broaden their horizons. But considering it was a take home essay assigned to a classroom of high schoolers whose only ambition in life thus far was to make it into a good college, he was certain that most of the essays would consist of just that.

Of course, there might be an exception to that standard. He looked up at the head of the table where Suzumiya Haruhi, the exception to every rule and every standard in existence, was furiously typing her response.

“Looks like she’s really getting into this,” Kyon muttered off-handedly over a game of checkers.

Koizumi smiled a little, proceeding to king Kyon’s piece. “Of course. Suzumiya-san is a bright and highly opinionated girl. It would make sense that her essay would be the same.”

Kyon grunted in response. “Sounds scary.”

“On the contrary, I would be interested to see what she says. After all, it could have a direct effect on our future,” the ESPer smirked. “Years later someone could find Suzumiya-san’s essay and publish it as the Haruhi Manifesto. An entire political and social revolution could follow.”

Kyon blanched. “Haruhiism?”

The grin on Koizumi’s face widened. “It has a ring to it, don’t you agree?”

The other boy shook his head. “Absolutely not. One Haruhi is enough, we don’t need her to have an entire under-ground cult following mimicking her lifestyle.”

“Would you two shut up?!” the SOS Brigade leader snapped. “I’m trying to concentrate and your whispering isn’t helping!”

The ESPer chuckled under his breath, silently contemplating the effects of a Haruhi Revolution. It was easy to see how people could idolize Suzumiya-san; the people he worked with were proof enough. His own admiration and amusement concerning the young woman was beyond explanation, but the same could be said of the early followers of other dictators. She had charisma and a strong will (not to mention the subconscious power to bend reality to fit her every whim).

Perhaps it would be best if the Brigade leader “misplaced” her essay. With Koizumi’s help of course.

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa
Edits and Concrit are always welcome

Tradition: Part One

2007-09-20T03:17:37Z

In honor of "Talk Like a Pirate Day," I bring a fic! Not really, I've actually had this on my hard drive for a while but was never quite... happy with it. But with some encouragement and a little push from the good folks at 30Kisses (deadlines ahoy!) I've decided to post it.

Title: Tradition: Part One

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Pairings/Characters: Haruhi, Koizumi

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Word Count: 1,143

Summary: Can't have your cake and eat it too.

Notes: Written for 30 Kisses, slightly inspired by real life, and this is the fluffiest thing I could come up with for this pairing (angst is so easy for this, but fluff? That's the hard stuff right there)

I believe the saying goes “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” I’d never really understood it as a small child, having never liked cake myself. I’d always considered myself more of a candy person, small tidbits of hard flavored sugar one could pop into their mouth at any given moment.

Yet regardless of how anyone had said it, it was becoming clear that I had never understood the saying until my cake was right in front of me.

“I still can’t believe everyone else backed out of this!” Suzumiya-san announced for the fourth time in twenty minutes. “I even said it was mandatory! You can’t just excuse yourself from a mandatory meeting, it’s unheard of!”

I nodded in agreement. It was my customary reaction to a frustrated Suzumiya-san, or to any type of Suzumiya-san really. I would smile what I hoped seemed to be a genuine smile and agree with her. While sometimes this proved to be a difficult task, it made my job much easier in the long run. After all, I sometimes enjoyed getting a full night’s rest.

Today though, my smile was real. It was the Christmas season again, a time for merriment, joy, and potluck parties in the SOS Brigade clubroom. Despite being put out that she was unable to reach either Yuki or Asahina-san (a very rare occurrence indeed that could later spell disaster for our little group. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?) Suzumiya-san was truly excited about the upcoming celebration. Her lips were more pouty than angry, and her eyes were much brighter and livelier than usual.

As much as I would like to explain away the joy of seeing Suzumiya-san like this as anticipation of good things and restful nights ahead, I would be lying if I said that was all. While I followed the energetic SOS Brigade chief with many parcels in hand, I had to remind myself rather strongly that what she thought of as friendship was a strict business relationship to me. And that what she thought of as a shopping trip wad nothing more than another day at the office to me.

Well, it was better than the alternative mantra (“notadatenotadatenotadate, businessbusinessbusinessbusiness”). After all, if saving the world meant keeping friends at bay and being the errand boy for my twisted God-figure, then so be it.

“-something sweet?”

My attention was brought back to the girl before me, hands stuffed in her coat pockets, looking very intently at the bakery window. Her eyes were getting bigger with each dessert she looked at and she reminded me of a little girl. “Sweet” things immediately popped into my head, but only a few of them had to do with food… notadatenotadatenotadate… god, she’s so- no, notadatenotadatenotadate!

“Are you even listening?” she asked sharply, bringing her focus back to me.

I smiled, embarrassed about more than just not listening. “I’m afraid I was thinking. What was it you asked?”

“I was wondering if we wanted to get something sweet for the party?” Suzumiya-san replied, a little annoyed with me.

“I don’t see why we wouldn’t,” I answered, shifting the bags in my hands. “Shall we go in then?”

Suzumiya-san nodded, leading the way into the shop while I cleared my head. It must have been the atmosphere and the abnormally large amounts of couples on the streets that prompted that thought process. That was the only reason for the lapse of judgment…. Sort of.

“Hey, Koizumi-kun!” the young woman grabbed my attention, leading me over to a tray by the counter. “Free samples!” She took the nearest one and shoved it into my mouth, taking no notice that force-feeding someone unawares wasn’t the best of ideas.

One of the good things about my job was that no matter what bad ideas Suzumiya-san came up with, I would always be able to handle them. So I slowly chewed the piece of cake, careful to swallow it without choking. “Mmm, not enough flavor,” I replied.

“Really? Well let’s see about this one then…”

Between Suzumiya-san’s speed sampling and my sound judgment, a decision was made. I stood near the door while she waited for the man to come back with the dessert when I noticed something dangling above the SOS Brigade leader’s head.

“Koizumi-kun! Come over here, you’ve got something on you.”

Is that mistletoe? No, couldn’t be, shouldn’t be, didn’t even notice it…

“You’re such a slob, you know that?” Suzumiya-san said, ignoring the fact that it was her bad aim that had made me appear a slob.

It’s not there, why am I even thinking about it, what sort of disasters could I unleash upon the world, my supervisors would kill me, she would kill me…

The young woman reached up and wiped a bit of frosting off my face, right below the bottom corner of my lips. “I can’t believe you didn’t even notice, it was right there.”

Can’t have your cake and eat it too Itsuki, now smile and thank her like you always do…

Her fingers are warm from being in her pockets and I can smell icing from the cakes. She smiles suddenly, satisfied that her Assistant Chief now looks somewhat presentable. She nods. “That’s better.”

I look down at her and immediately realize what a bad choice that was. Haruhi’s lips are curved into a soft smirk, but the real beauty of her smile comes from the challenge to world to give her everything it’s got you can see in her eyes. It’s a look I envy, a challenge I gave up long ago.

Her face looks concerned now. “Hey, is there something wrong?” Haruhi asks a little sharply, but kind enough that it convinces me that she might actually be concerned.

Suddenly I wonder: what does Haruhi taste like, cake or candy? It takes every ounce of self-restraint I’ve developed over the past year not to kiss her and find out.

“It’s nothing Suzumiya-san. Just a little lost in thought.” I glance up at the mistletoe and sigh inwardly.

Suzumiya-san looks heavenward as well and I can see the shock registering on her face. Her eyes dart towards my face and she knows I’ve seen it, but she’s willing to ignore it if I-

Soft lips press against mine briefly, but enough to stop my brain from functioning in the second it lasted. Suzumiya-san blushes furiously and she looks angry and embarrassed. “It’s tradition,” she huffs as the man comes back out to the counter.

She pays for the cake and forcefully places it on top of all the other boxes I’ve been carrying; avoiding eye contact like her life depended on it. As we leave the store, one thought is able to push its way to the front of my shocked state of mind.

Candy. Definitely candy.

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and concrit always welcome

Good Night

2007-07-15T06:37:23Z

So... writer's block. Yeah.

Little ficlet I spewed out at one o'clock at night, a sleepy fic from a sleepy girl. Not a very good one either I've gotta say. I'm no good at the short one-shots X_X

Title: Good Night

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Pairings/Characters: Haruhi, Koizumi

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Word Count: 440

Summary: Time for bed little ones.

Notes: A response to the 30 Kisses challenge, I figured I'd better write something before I forgot how to entirely >_X

The light in her room would still be on at this time of the night, when all others had retreated into their own private worlds of dreams and nightmares. She would probably be sitting at her desk, amusing herself half-heartedly with reports of alien sightings and cult traditions.

She might even be in her bed, reading some biography of some famous person. It was most likely about an inventor or an explorer who encountered a strange being on their travels. When she was little she would’ve loved science fiction novels, but now most of them annoyed her if they weren’t realistic enough. After all, what good was a super-natural encounter if it couldn’t possibly happen to you?

About this time he would walk by her house, on his way home after a night at work slaying the demons that rested in her subconscious. He would pause across the street and glance up at her window just as the light went out in her room.

Quickly he would hide himself somewhere nearby as she approached the window, giving the heavens one last look before going to bed. She always looked for a change in what she saw, praying and hoping something was there, something was there for her. But there was never anything in the sky for her, not that she could see.

If only she would look down, towards the earth and her life in it, she might see him standing there, looking out for her and protecting her as best as he could. She didn’t give him much of an important role in her life, but he did the best he could with what she had given him.

She would leave the window then and return to her bed. He would move back into the light of the street and wonder to himself if she’ll get a good night’s rest. After all, a good night’s sleep for her meant there was more of a chance he would get some sleep as well.

And somewhere, in the back of his mind, he would wonder what it would be like if he were able to tuck her in safely in her bed, kiss her on the forehead, and wish her good night. What it would be like if he were able to be with her even when she slept to chase all the demons of her insecurities and heartbreak away.

He would sigh then and with weary limbs and a weary heart he would go back to his home.

While he walked down the street, she would curl up in her bed and whisper under her breath as she fell asleep. “Good night everyone.”

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and concrit always welcome

Meh, not my favorite. Whatever. G'night all!

The Confusion of the SOS Brigade: Chapter Two

2007-06-02T08:45:45Z

Inspired by the release of the English Haruhi DVD to get my ass moving and finish this last scene here... wasn't too hard either. Considering it's 3:30 in the morning, I'd say this is pretty good.

Title: The Confusion of the SOS Brigade

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Chapter: Two

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa.

Summary: Suzumiya Haruhi isn't in the dark any longer thanks to a mysterious entity with hidden motives.

Previous Chapters: Prolouge

Chapter One

I was giving the drink in my hand a hard stare, having no other target to direct my frustration.

“If you keep staring like that your face might be stuck that way,” Koizumi said with less humor than usual. Regardless, the comment was just as annoying as any other time, though I wasn’t in the mood to respond. If I were to open my mouth at that moment, I might’ve found myself saying some very uncivilized things in the middle of the café. No, it was best for the restaurant to remain at peace while I sat there seething in my chair.

Next to me Asahina-san slumped over her tea. If a talented artist were to paint her at that time, the product would be the most beautiful and heart-breaking piece of art in the history of the world.

Nagato’s face didn’t betray any emotion as usual, so it was difficult to tell how she was taking this latest development. However, as she lowered her steaming cup to the table, it was possible to detect a hint of weariness in her expression.

This was the worst day I’d ever experienced since having met the infamous Suzumiya Haruhi.

I sighed heavily. To think, of all the things to go wrong it would be Haruhi growing up. Not only a gradual maturing that one witnesses over the course of their life, but a sudden abrupt dismissal of childish notions such as aliens, time-travelers, and ESPers.

Damnit Haruhi, don’t grow up so fast! Give us at least a little time to prepare!

“You are mistaken,” Koizumi replied gravely. “This incident has absolutely nothing to do with Suzumiya-san’s disbelief in the unnatural. Rather, it has to do with her sudden, unwavering certainty that the occult exists.”

The table fell silent, Asahina-san giving Koizumi a questioning look through her tear-filled eyes. I looked over to Nagato and was startled with what I saw. The alien was staring at the ESPer with a hard gaze, one that a mother would give a disobedient child. If you do that one more time, there will be dire consequences.

“A Shinjin appeared last night in the middle of town. I was called out around twelve, so I put on some presentable clothing and went out to find a taxi. Business as usual.

When I arrived, they were already battling. It was putting up a good fight; something we’d come to expect. It took us a while, but we defeated it.”

Koizumi’s voice was grave and his story suspiciously short. I was probably wrong, but that seemed like just another day in the office for Koizumi.

“Well, I haven’t told you the whole story,” he responded with a sarcastic smile.

“As we made to leave, I spotted a mass of energy a little ways off. It seemed to be an underdeveloped Shinjin, one that was just being created. Naturally, I traveled over to dispose of the avatar, nipping it in the bud so to speak. That was when I spotted something strange.

“It was Suzumiya-san.”

For the second time today, I was speechless. “Haruhi… was inside the closed space?”

Koizumi nodded, his usual pretty-boy face clouded with confusion. Asahina-san’s eyes were big, although I’m not sure she knew what was going on. From Koizumi’s tone of voice, it was clear to her whatever had happened couldn’t be a good thing.

Nagato continued to stare at Koizumi; her eyes were cold and unforgiving. Not that I blamed her; I felt like throttling Koizumi for making such a stupid mistake, even though it probably wasn’t his fault. How did she end up in there anyway?

The ESPer shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure. It was right after I’d eliminated the Shinjin that I noticed her standing on top of a nearby building. From what I’d gathered, she’d seen the entire affair. She looked very… surprised.”

My mind was racing. Haruhi knew. She knew that Koizumi went out in the middle of the night and killed giant monsters that were a result of her screwed up subconscious. If she knew that, who knows what else she might’ve found out? As much as I doubt it at times, Haruhi is not a stupid girl.

“Depending on how much Suzumiya-san knows, it would be easy for her to discover Nagato-san’s and Asahina-san’s origins,” Koizumi offered. “She might be able to block out the communication between them and their organizations, thus isolating them entirely.”

“But why the hell would she do that?!” I growled. I knew Haruhi; she wouldn’t do anything that might put us in danger, least of all Nagato and Asahina-san. She loved those two like a little girl loved her two favorite dolls.

“We thought we knew her before. Now look at what she’s done.”

Asahina-san listened with the face of a criminal about to be sentenced to death. “I’ll never get back…” she whispered.

Nagato was back to looking out the window. She looked even more tired than before, her silver hair shading her eyes and her lips set in a deep frown.

I sighed heavily. “This is stupid. We don’t even know how much she knows about all of this.”

“I’m willing to believe she knows quite a lot.” Koizumi wore a smile he saved for particularly ironic occasions, a smile that also had a 90% chance of foreshadowing something catastrophic. “I saw her with someone that night. It was a boy in a North High uniform.”

… You saved this piece of information for last?! Who was it? Did you see his face?

The ESPer shook his head slowly. “He was wearing a hooded shirt underneath his uniform and his face was covered. I couldn’t see much at all.”

Quickly I tried to think if I’d seen anybody at school who’d been stupid enough to wear a hoodie underneath his uniform in the spring. Even though it wasn’t really warm outside, the trek up and down that god-awful hill would warm up anybody. Not only that, but our school’s air conditioning was horrible; there would be no way anyone would wear a hoodie to school!

“I tried to get a better look at the boy’s face, but he led Suzumiya-san away before I could see anything that distinguished him,” Koizumi said. After a pause he said “He seemed very familiar with her.”

“Familiar?” Asahina-san mumbled, coming out of her stunned stupor to listen to our conversation.

The ESPer nodded. “He had his arm around her.”

… and she wasn’t trying to mutilate him?

“On the contrary, she seemed to take comfort in it.”

Alright, that’s my limit for weird-ness. Aliens, time-travelers, and ESPers I can handle. Haruhi disbanding the SOS Brigade I’m starting to understand. But a strange boy from our school leading Haruhi around inside an alternate dimension like he was her boyfriend or something… that I’m having difficulty with.

Even Nagato looked a little surprised by this information as she’d turned back around to face us. Her eyes had widened a pixel and her expression was calculating. Perhaps she discovered something?

She shook her head. “Negative. There are many possibilities as to who this student is; however, there is not enough evidence to promote any of the possibilities.”

“So in other words,” I said after a pause. “We’re sitting ducks until we get something figured out.”

“Precisely,” Koizumi replied cheerfully. Suddenly his attention was diverted by his cell phone. He looked at the screen for a moment before pocketing the phone again. “Well it seems I have to go to work now.”

Already?! It’s mid-afternoon for Christ’s sake!

“None the less, I am being summoned.” He stood and gathered his things, still not bothering to give me money for his share. Haruhi wasn’t around but I was still paying the tab. “I wish you all the best of luck solving this puzzle.”

Asahina-san followed the ESPer with her eyes, her face clouded with confusion and concern. “Koizumi-san!” she shouted forcefully as he was about to leave.

He looked back, smiling at her like one would smile at a small child. “Yes?”

“Um…” Asahina-san looked down briefly. “Please be careful.” Looking at this petite figure shifting uncomfortably in her chair, it was painfully clear what she was really thinking. I’m sorry I can’t do more. Please forgive me.

Koizumi nodded in return. “I understand.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neither Haruhi nor Koizumi were at school the next day. Honestly I would’ve skipped class myself but, as my mom so helpfully pointed out, with my grades in the state they were in, my attendance was all I had left.

Had it not been for the sci-fi novel plot I found myself neck deep in, it would’ve been a nice day. The sky was clear, lunch was uneventful, and even better I didn’t have Haruhi behind me, interrupting me whenever the mood struck her.

None the less, as I sat in math class successfully ignoring the teacher, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of loneliness. Without Haruhi sitting behind me it felt like someone had turned off a heating lamp in back of me. Even over the past few weeks there was a constant feeling of something bigger than life behind me, like having a tiger watch you from the rear. This wasn’t a comfortable feeling of course, but it was one I’d gotten used to over the year.

My agitation only grew when I opened my locker. My intention was to call Koizumi or Yuki after school but my plans were cut short by the neatly typed note inside my shoes.

The answer is with John Smith.

It didn’t have to be signed for me to know who it was from. I only knew two people who left mysterious notes in my locker and one of them had been reduced to a pile of sand (so to speak). Had the connection between the future and the past finally been fixed? If that was the case then why the hell were they wasting time leaving me cryptic messages in my locker? Shouldn’t they be out there doing something?

My irritation with Asahina-san (Big) distracted me from where my feet were taking me. About half way there I realized I was going against Haruhi’s direct orders to never enter the club room again. It was only a few more steps until I realized I didn’t care. It was like I’d said before: the SOS Brigade was as much ours as it was hers.

“Oh, it’s you,” I heard a voice say as I trudged up the stairs. Koizumi stood at the top, dressed in his uniform and looking strangely relieved to see me. “I’m glad I ran into you, it saves me the trouble of looking.”

I’m not sure I’d ever want you looking for me, least of all now. “What are you doing here anyway? I thought you skipped school.”

The boy shrugged, meeting me half way up the stairs. “I don’t have much time, so this will be brief,” he said quietly, looking at me through the corner of his eyes. His profile was oddly cheery for his serious tone of voice. “The Agency has decided that Suzumiya-san has become too dangerous to continue as she is. There’s a serious consideration among my peers that she should be eliminated as soon as possible.”

I nearly fell over as I spun around to face the high school boy. “What did you say?!”

Koizumi gave a small shake of his head. “Arakawa-san and Sonou-san are doing their best to prevent this from happening, but it won’t be long until a decision will be reached.”

I stood on the stairs, gaping like an idiot. Kill Haruhi? Where they stupid or something?! How would her death solve any of this?!

“I’m not sure if it wouldn’t…” Koizumi’s eyes were dark as he looked down, trying to avoid facing me.

“Not sure- No way!” I shouted. “Haruhi may be a crazy psychopath with a occult complex, but she’s still my-“ I trailed off, not sure how I was going to finish the statement. “She’s still Haruhi.”

Koizumi smiled. He seemed relieved. “I’m glad to hear you say that. And I’m sure Suzumiya-san will be glad as well.” He walked past me, pausing at the bottom. “I told you once before that I was the deputy chief before I was an ESPer. I still stand by that.”

“If that’s the truth then don’t freak me out like that!” Despite my severely annoyed attitude, it was something I was glad to know.

“Oh, and by the way,” he continued. “Suzumiya-san is waiting for you. Be careful though; I can’t say I did my part in lightening her spirits.”

With that cryptic message Koizumi disappeared down the stairs, leaving me to wonder just what the hell he meant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The club room was a disaster zone; apparenlty Haruhi had been making good progress on tearing things down. The Ex-Brigade Chief herself was sitting at her usual desk, back facing the door. “What do you want?” she snapped.

Lately there were a lot of things I wanted, starting with knowing who had enough guts to actual put his arm around you and why you didn’t dismember him on the spot… no, now wasn’t the time for that. I’ll settle for taking the Othello board home thank you.

“Hold it!” Haruhi jumped up from her chair. “How much do you know?”

Well Haruhi never was one for subtlety… “Know what?”

“You know what!”

Sorry, you’ll have to be a little more specific than that to get an answer from me.

Haruhi stood there for a second fuming silently. “What do you know about John Smith?” she finally asked.

Now there was a good question. I couldn’t help but wonder if she hadn’t channeled her abilities into mind-reading. Maybe she was the one that left the note in my locker? Nah, it wasn’t like Haruhi to be mysterious when she knew the answer. “Not a thing.”

“Liar!” Haruhi was livid now; her old war-lord anger was returning. “Stop lying to me! You know everything, don’t you? Don’t you!?”

I assumed she was talking about us keeping her capabilities a secret from her, not my denial of information. Really, what did you expect us to do? Tell you everything and hope for the best?

Haruhi had calmed down enough to sit down; her fingers drummed on the desk loudly. “Everyone is lying to me…”

It seemed my interview was over. I grabbed the Othello box and made my way to the door.

“He lied to me.”

Pardon?

Haruhi shot a look at me that sent chills down my spine. “John Smith.”

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and concrit always welcome. (espically since I finished and posted this at four in the morning ^_^)

The Confusion of the SOS Brigade: Chapter One

2007-03-11T14:48:10Z

Re-posting this first chapter here, I didn't really like it the first time around. Second chapter coming probably mid-week (depends on how much time I can get in Journalism)

Title: The Confusion of the SOS Brigade

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Chapter: One

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa.

Summary: Suzumiya Haruhi isn't in the dark any longer thanks to a mysterious entity with hidden motives.

Previous Chapters: Prolouge

Unfortunately for me, calls concerning the fate of the world only came at un-godly hours of the night.

“Hello?” I said groggily into the cell phone.

“Your presence is required immediately.”

“Ungh…?” I only knew one person who could speak in that tone. “Yuki? What is this abo–“

“It is a matter of the utmost urgency.”
My sleepy mind could only come up with one reason for a call like this. “Did Haruhi do something?”

A short pause on the other end. “It is most likely that Suzumiya Haruhi has caused something to happen, but it is questionable as to whither that was her intention.”

I sighed heavily. “I’ll be right over.” With that the call was terminated.

Despite the obvious down sides of Haruhi causing trouble, I felt an odd sense of relief. The Haruhi I knew was on the move, a situation I was much more used to dealing with than that of a moody and contemplative Haruhi.

Thanks to her I was almost nervous if there wasn’t something strange happening. No, scratch that. If life went on normally for over a month, then I’d be worried.

As I entered Yuki’s apartment, I was greeted not by one grim face but two.
Sitting at the table in the living room was a nervous and very frightened Asahina-san. Her face brightened a little upon my entering although it appeared she was near to tears. She looked up at me like a lost kitten, wearing pajama bottoms and a shirt that didn’t match at all. There was only one other time I’d seen her like this under similar circumstances, so I could anticipate a little of what was about to happen.

“Kyon-kun…” she said quietly, holding back tears. “I-I can’t contact the future.”

I gulped, thinking back to our Endless Summer crisis. “What does that mean?” I said, sitting at the table. “Is there no future anymore?”

Asahina-san shook her head sadly. “No. But something’s blocking me from communicating with the future.” The tears she’d been holding back began to escape as she continued. “I’ve tried everything, but I can’t… I can’t do anything!” Suddenly she began to sob heavily and I found myself willing to do anything to stop her crying.

I turned to Yuki who was watching the unfolding scene with her usual static expression, but under closer inspection she seemed as unnerved by this turn of events as I was. “Are you having trouble reaching your boss?” I asked.

Yuki nodded.

“Is it anything like last time?” I asked, referring to the disaster on the mountain.

“It is similar,” Yuki replied. “However, the power behind it is much stronger.”

That didn’t sound good. “Is there anyway you can get around it?”

“I am trying my best,” the alien said. Her voice, while it still held its usual stoic tone, sounded almost… desperate.

I was beginning to panic. What was going on? Without Asahina-san (Big) to give us a clue and Yuki having to fight a nasty firewall, it seemed we were in a tight spot. If Koizumi was here then maybe…

Suddenly it occurred to me that our last abnormal member of the SOS Brigade was missing.

“I-I tried to call Koizumi-san first,” Asahina-san said through sniffles. “But I couldn’t reach him.”

Damnit! Where was that annoying guy when you needed him?

“Do you have any idea why this is happening?” I asked Yuki.

She responded with a little shake of her head. “At this point there is a strong possibility that Suzumiya-san has outgrown her fascination with the occult,” she said.

It took me a minute to grasp the gravity of that theory. If aliens, time-travelers, and ESPers didn’t exist to Haruhi anymore, than that meant that Asahina-san, Yuki, and Koizumi didn’t really exist either. But if that were the case then why were they still here?

“It is possible that we remain here only because Suzumiya-san believes that we exist as normal human beings. As a result, we remain here while our respective organizations cease to exist.”

So you’re saying that you guys are stuck here without anything?

“Precisely.”

Suddenly the room began to spin, my chest getting heavier with worry. This wasn’t any good. In order to counteract this, I’d probably end up spending hours trying to convince Haruhi that the occult really did exist. Knowing Haruhi though she wouldn’t listen to a word I said. Once her mind was made up there was little anyone could do about it.

Wait a minute, is that Haruhi has been acting so strangely? Because she’s giving up something that has essentially lead her entire life up till now?

“It is possible.”

“Kyon-kun…” Asahina-san whimpered in a tone that required my immediate and undivided attention. “What should I do?”

I looked at the poor angel before me then up at the silent girl, both of whom were looking at me with expectant expressions. How should I know what to do? I’m the normal one around here! Usually I left all the important strategies and stuff up to Yuki or Koizumi, but one was AWOL and the other wanted an answer as much as I did.

“Well…” I muttered. “I suppose all we can do for now is wait. Asahina-san, you keep trying to contact the future and…”

Here was the problem in my head: None of this theory could be proven unless we could get a hold of Koizumi and ask him if he’d lost his ESP powers. Unfortunately, the monologue loving high school boy was absent, making a decision much more difficult to reach.

“Yuki, you do the same, I guess.” I sounded so official despite the fact I had no clue what I was doing.

“Affirmative.”

With those actions decided upon, our little meeting was disbanded. I would walk Asahina-san to the station (though no trains would be running at this time of the night) where we might be able to hail a taxi for her. From there I could easily ride my bike home.

As Asahina-san stepped out the door, Yuki stopped me momentarily. “There is another possibility,” she said quietly.

Another theory. Perfect.

Yuki stood at her door step, her eyes penetrating my skull. “It is possible that someone is controlling Suzumiya-san’s powers.”

I frowned. That was the same thing Koizumi had suggested. Was controlling Haruhi even possible?

“There are many ways to control a human,” Yuki said. “Suzumiya-san is human. She will have a weakness that someone might use against us.”

I had a hard time thinking of Haruhi as just another normal girl after all that has happened, although what Yuki says rings true.

“Be careful,” Yuki says as she shuts the door behind me.

That morning Haruhi was even more agitated than usual. It looked like she hadn’t gotten any sleep that night, a trait the entire SOS Brigade shared. Even though I hadn’t seen him, I wouldn’t be surprised at all to find Koizumi with huge bags under his eyes.

While I found it difficult to concentrate in class anyway, today it was nearly impossible for me to listen to anything being said.

Could Haruhi really have given up on the occult? I couldn’t even imagine it; from her infamous introduction to only a little while ago, every decision Haruhi made had some root in the belief that life wasn’t meant to be normal.

Of course, the other option was even more terrifying. Someone out there could have actually discovered a major weak point in Haruhi and was using it against her. It wasn’t possible at all to me that Haruhi would actually voluntarily put anyone in harms way, let alone let someone else bully her into doing so. If she really was being controlled, then the method was far more advanced than just a normal threat.

In truth, both explanations had a solution, and both explanations had some nasty sides to their solutions. It was either try to convince Haruhi that aliens, time-travelers, and ESPers really did exist, therefore risking some sort of overload in the universe, or fight an unknown villain who could do god knows what to us.

I didn’t like either one.

Haruhi disregarded that day’s lessons as well. She didn’t even pick up a pencil all day, least of all to scribble the random equations that had become her habit. Instead she stared straight ahead vacantly, a confused and frustrated look on her face. At times it even looked like she was sad.

That in itself was bizarre. Sure, there were times when she’d expressed sadness at the end of an activity, but even those times the sadness bordered more on anger than sadness. Today, she looked like someone had killed her dog.

With such an expression aimed at the back of my head, I found it even harder to concentrate. Just a little break would be nice!

The club meeting that day started off quietly. Koizumi had cleaning duties so he would be showing up late. This kinda pissed me off, I’d really wanted to know whither or not he still had his ESPer abilities. At least then we might be able to come up with a better plan of action!

As I entered the Literature Club room, Asahina-san was making tea with the same depressed expression she’d had last night. Guess she hadn’t had any luck contacting the future.

I threw my bag on the table and went over to the computer. Yuki sat near by with her back to me, reading some large book from the shelves. “Any luck?” I asked quietly, in case Haruhi came barging in.

“Negative.”

I sighed. Solving this puzzle would be a lot more difficult this time around.

“Hello everyone,” a cheerful voice came from the door.

Don’t just come in here all cheerful like that! Where were you last night?

Koizumi showed off his pearly whites as he sat down at the table. “It was a rough night.”

I snorted indignantly, taking a drag from the cup of tea Asahina-san had given me. Join the club, last night was hell.

“In that case I guess I have a lot of catching up to do,” he replied in his cheerful tone. It would be a sarcastic statement if he didn’t sound so damn sincere!

Just at that moment, the club door opened again quietly. In slipped the woman of the hour, Suzumiya Haruhi herself. She looked very uncomfortable coming in, an extremely strange occurrence for her on any day. She looked around the room once, stopping at Koizumi momentarily before staring at the ground.

It might’ve just been my imagination, but I could’ve sworn she just blushed. What the hell happened last night?!

It was a moment before she looked up again, and when she did that same annoyed expression adorned her face. “I have an announcement!” she barked, a little more emotional than was normal.

Everyone stood still for a moment. For a split second, I hoped desperately this announcement was something stupid like another treasure hunt or she’d signed us up for a football tournament. But the way she stood there, with a resolute and solemn face, told me that this announcement would be a little more serious.

“I am officially disbanding the SOS Brigade!”

…

Suddenly a crash sounded through out the room, but Asahina-san didn’t make any move to clean up her dropped tray. Even Yuki closed her book, staring vacantly at the SOS Brigade Chief.

“…What?” The announcement had left me completely numb, most of what was happening passing by like I was in some bizarre dream.

“Like I just said! The SOS Brigade no longer exists as of this moment!” Haruhi announced again irritably.

“But...” Asahina-san stuttered.

“No buts! I’ve decided already there isn’t a reason for the SOS Brigade to continue functioning.”

“Why?” I asked. Had she really given up on believing in the occult? Was that the real reason behind this stunt? No, even if that were to happen she would keep us together.

“Well Mikuru’ll be leaving soon,” Haruhi said, hesitating a little like she hadn’t expected to be questioned.

“That’s complete bullshit!” By now the numbness had worn off; I was pissed. This on top of everything else was too much! “After all that’s happened to us, after all this time, at least come up with a better answer than that!”

“I don’t need to!” Haruhi screamed back. “I’m the Chief and what I say goes!”

Koizumi’s smile faltered as he rose from his seat. “Suzumiya-san, I beg you to reconsider your—“

Haruhi shot the ESPer a look that could’ve killed him on the spot. “You.” The look she was giving him was a frightening one, a mix of Haruhi’s God-like anger and something else…

Koizumi dropped his smile in an instant, backing away from Haruhi’s rage. It was obvious he wasn’t going to put up a fight.

I looked around the room in panic. For once everyone, please! Don’t just do what she says! Don’t just go along with whatever hare brained scheme Haruhi came up with!

“I’ll be by tomorrow to clean up the room,” Haruhi said with cold clarity. “Yuki may stay here as this is her club room anyway. Other than her, I don’t ever want to see anyone of you near this club room again, do you understand?”

You have no right to keep us from coming here! The SOS Brigade belongs to us the same it belongs to you!

Haruhi puffed up her chest like a dragon about to breathe fire. “As my last act of the SOS Brigade Chief, I forbid you from entering this club room ever again!” she yelled forcefully. “Now get out!”

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and concrit always welcome.

Pirate Story: Chapter One "The Beginings of an Adventure"

2007-03-10T22:03:45Z

Still in need of editing.

Title: [Untitled for the moment]

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Chapter: 1 "The Beginings of an Adventure"

Summary: The story of Vegas the pirate and her various accomplices.

Julia Vegas was, as most pirates were, human. Being human she had her dreams and ambitions. Being a pirate she had a less than honest way of achieving her dreams and ambitions. Despite her philosophy “The end justifies the means,” there were some things she wouldn’t do.

For one, Vegas never sold slaves. She had prisoners a plenty, but only the ones who could be sold off for a good ransom back to their families. In her mind any other prisoner was nothing more than dead weight. “I’m here for everyone’s happiness,” she told John one day while they were resting in her cabin. “But I’m not going to give it to ‘em for free.”

This peculiar rule of hers would be the chief explanation for the presence of Mary Davis, the ship cook. Vegas found the young girl on an enemy pirate ship they’d captured where she was being kept as the captain’s favorite woman. Vegas promised her freedom if she worked on the ship for three years.

Mary was a young girl about the age of seventeen with long, silky chestnut hair and a captivating face. Despite these striking features she’d been ordered to dress like a man at all times and the rest of the crew had been warned. “If a single hair on her head is touched, I’ll cut off yer balls. Get straight to the source of the problem,” Vegas had announced to the crew, each man wearing a rather pained look. They knew she was capable of it.

So out of respect for their new cook and for fear of losing their manhood, the crew kept a respectful distance from Mary.

Either by the grace of God or a lifetime of cooking, Mary made a feast out of anything that was given her. It was a far cry from the food at a royal party, but for the hungry stomach of a pirate it tasted as good as the Last Supper itself.

But the best time of all in the little dining cabin of the RC Annie were the dinners right after a good pillaging. Fresh ingredients were used to make a congratulatory meal by the Captain’s orders, her way of rewarding the men for a job well done.

The goods from the trading ship they’d captured that day were especially delicious and Mary had created from them a fine feast fit for the Head of the Navy. Meats, fruits, spices, and wines of all variety were passed around the table. Men drank deeply, singing old tunes, and complimenting their Captain on another splendid pillaging.

Vegas laughed and drank with the rest of them, John sitting at her right and Mary at her left. “This food is absolutely fantastic!” Vegas screamed, very drunk and in a very good mood. “Three cheers for our darling little cook!”

Robust “Huzzahs!” rocked the room while Mary smiled shyly. “I wish you wouldn’t do that,” she said quietly.

“Aww, she’s so cute!” Vegas exclaimed, smiling even more widely. “Mary ♥!” She leapt from her seat and attacked the poor girl with a bear hug much to enjoyment of everyone present.

“Alright, that’s enough,” John stated, prying the cook from the clutches of her captain. “Mary help me get her to bed, she’s getting a little stupid.”

“Party pooper…” Vegas grumbled, but agreed to be helped out of the cabin. “G’night boys!” she cried one last time to her crew, receiving a like-wise response.

The two women stumbled to the cabin; little Mary trying to support Vegas’ dead weight as they walked across the rocking boat. It took her several minutes to get the drunken captain ready for bed because Vegas would spontaneously break into song and dance then quit singing as soon as she started.

“♪Start wearing purple, start wearing purple, start wearing purple for me nooooow…♫”

“Miss Vegas, could you please calm down, you’re making things rather difficult for me-"

“♪All your sanity and wits will all vanish, I promise! It’s just a matter of time!♫”

Finally after a long and grueling fight Vegas, now passed out on the mattress, was tucked into bed, nice and cozy.

“Phew!” Mary sighed as she shut the door behind her carefully.

“And they say you’re a weak young woman,” John said. He’d been standing outside to make sure Vegas didn’t so something stupid. His old friend was a fun drunk, but also a moronic drunk. “A few more nights of putting our alcoholic captain to bed and you’ll be able to wrestle any man to the ground.”

Mary laughed. “I suppose so.” The young woman paused. “Mr. Angeles,” she said more quietly. “Miss Vegas has been acting strange lately.”

“You mean the fact that today’s was the fifth raid in a little over a week?” John answered with the tone of one who’d seen and done all things before.

“Yes, that has something to do with it,” Mary said. She bit her bottom lip, thinking hard about what it was exactly that was wrong with her cabin mate.

“She’s getting restless is all,” John said, giving words to Mary’s observations. “It happens every once in a while. A few more rounds of pillaging and she’ll be just fine.” To Mary, John’s response sounded unconvinced.

“Are you sure?” she asked once more.

“Absolutely.”

This answer seemed to satisfy the young girl who excused herself to clean the galley after saying goodnight.

John watched her leave before slipping into the captain’s cabin. Vegas snored loudly, something that she did when she’d been drinking heavily. The first mate stifled a laugh and walked over quietly. She was sleeping peacefully and would’ve looked attractive at that moment if it weren’t for the loud ripping snore coming from her every breath.

John drew up a chair and sat next to the bed, watching and thinking. Julia Vegas was restless. This, while it had happened numerous times before, always made John nervous. He’d grown up with the little firecracker since childhood and had learned many things about his friend and now captain. One lesson he’d learned early and painfully was never to overlook Julia’s moods; they often foreshadowed what was to come.

After a while Vegas ceased snoring and slipped into a calm slumber, her breathing slow and steady. Mary entered later that night to sleep in the cabin she and Julia shared. It wasn’t long after John dismissed himself and Mary fell asleep that Julia began stirring.

She tossed in her sleep then suddenly shot up, nearly hitting her head on the low ceiling. Looking around her, she found herself safely tucked away in her cabin with her kitchen maid sleeping next to her as the ship rocked back and forth.

Julia carefully got out of bed as not to disturb the sleeping Mary. The moon shone brightly into the cabin as no city lights could blemish its beauty out on the ocean. As the young woman stood by the window, bathing in its gentle light, she frowned as the hangover kicked in.

Julia gazed out the little cabin window in her shirt and trousers, her hair hugging her shoulders in a tangled mess. Quietly, as though whispering a secret, she spoke.

“What a strange dream.”

Queen’s Island was surrounded on all sides by crystal clear water; a beautiful beach with tropical jungles covered the small island. With such a picturesque backdrop, Irony couldn’t help but stick her nose in it.

Besides being the home to what would be a great tropical resort, it was the home of Miller’s Port, the most scum infested city in the entire world. It sheltered the most evil of all beings: pirates, thieves, gamblers, scammers, and the occasional lawyer. Anyone could come to Miller’s Port to make a quick buck, and it quickly became the Black Market capital.

All this being said, it should also be mentioned that Miller’s Port was one of Vegas’s favorite places.

“AH! Smell that fresh air!” she announced happily, wearing her favorite jacket and hat. Amid the schmuck and slop the young woman practically radiated with excitement.

John frowned a little; the smell of this town had never suited him. In fact, the port itself downright revolted him, but it was a great place to do business in the profession he’d selected.

Unfortunately not everyone was so used to the smell of Miller’s Docks. “Smells like an oni took a shit,” Ji muttered to himself.

“Ah, don’t worry Ji,” Vegas announced happily. “A few more visits here and you’ll get used to it.”

Ji, one of the newer recruits, nodded faithfully, ready to take the word of his captain. This was, in John’s mind, a stupid thing to do: nobody could really enjoy this place. Well, no one except Vegas.

“Alright Ji, I’ve got an important job for you,” Vegas continued. The young sailor straightened up, ready to receive his orders. “Because I have business to conduct here, John and I’ll be staying on shore for a while. I’ve ordered some men to stay behind, but I need you to take care of Mary, got it?”

“Hai!”

“You know the rules then.”

Ji nodded solemnly. “Hai!”

Vegas nodded. “Good Ji,” she grinned. “Keep up the good work!”

Ji stood in place until Vegas and John disappeared, and then quickly returned to the ship to find someway to scourge the smell of Miller’s Port from his nostrils. A few days she said, he thought to himself. How will I survive?!

The Port’s bizarre was a bustling place filled with cheap trinkets men bought for their lady friends and weapons for those who pursued a more violent career.

“Get your jewelry here; buy your special woman a beautiful gift sure to get you some appreciation!”

“Pistols, swords, maces, if it’s sharp we’ve got it!”

“Buy your supplies here, sixteen pounds of salt for the low low price of 15 pieces!”

Vegas regarded all with the eye of a child, immersing herself in the energy of the crowd. “Oh hey, check it out!” she said. “A Flame Juggler! Say, you think I could do that?”

John shook his head with a small smile. “Probably not. Besides, any decent pirate can’t do much with singed hands.”

“Eh, I suppose so,” she replied, hands deep in her pockets. “Perhaps with swords then…”

“Any decent pirate can’t do much with their hands sliced off.”

Vegas sighed. “Haven’t you heard you can do anything if you set your mind to it?”
“So if you loose your hands you can play the piano?”

“They’re called toes!” Vegas proclaimed with a superior smirk.

“What you’re saying then,” John continued. “Is that in attempt to become a superior being who can ‘do anything’ you’d reduce yourself to a monkey who can play piano with their toes?”

“It’d be a great trick for parties.”

The conversation continued as the one above, with good natured ribbing from both sides that was occasionally interrupted by making a purchase.

As the two walked out of a shop, a small boy shot past them, nearly taking Vegas’s legs out from under her.

“What the hell was that?!” she yelled after the child. He stopped momentarily and glanced over his shoulder, fear and terror clearly written on his features. The boy was wearing little more than a potato sack and his face and hair were matted with mud.

“There he is!” a gruff voice yelled from the other end of the street. It was a large dirty sailor who’d yelled and with him was another sailor, smaller in build but just as mean looking.

The little boy took off again down an alley as fast as his legs could carry him, closely pursued by the two men.

John figured the boy had been a slave who’d been trying to escape from some slave traders. “Poor kid,” he muttered under his breath, turning to go down the street.

“Hold on a minute,” Vegas said, her tone skeptic. “Didn’t you recognize those guys?”

John paused, thinking back to the big man and his little accomplice. “Now that you mention it,” he said slowly. “Weren’t those…”

“Barty’s boys.”

The look on Vegas’s face was that of a sadistic child burning his little sister’s dolls. Her eyes shone with excitement as she suggested “Whadya say we get ourselves a new cabin boy?”

Despite himself and despite the stupidity of what was about to happen, John grinned devilishly. “Haven’t had one of those in a long time.”

It didn’t take them long to find Bart’s boys; their smell lingered a little in the air, standing out even among the muck and shit of Miller’s Port. These two sailors had been particularly annoying stooges of Bloody Bart’s, but they were always good for testing one’s skills on.

When they found the foul smelling pair, they had cornered the slave boy, beating him and throwing him around as though he were a rag doll. “You piece of trash! If you’re so fooking great why don’cha get your mommy ta help ya? ” the large one yelled, slamming the young boy into the wall.

“You’re nothing but a spoiled brat,” the smaller one sneered as he planted his boot in the gut of the boy.

The boy cried out in stifled pain, tears running down his dirty face. “I didn’t do anything!” he shrieked, his terror obvious.

“Shut the hell up!” the fat one yelled again, picking the boy up by the scruff of his shirt.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Vegas announced loudly from the alley entrance. Her corsair was resting on her shoulder, glinting dangerously in the sun. John stood a little behind her, hands at his waist, ready to draw his weapons. “Just a couple of school yard bullies it looks like.”

The two sailors turned around to face Vegas and John, eyes narrowing dangerously. “Well if it isn’t that damned pirate wench,” the smaller one sneered, revealing his rotted teeth and black gums.

“That’s Captain Pirate Wench to you,” she said with a smirk.

The two men laughed cruelly. “Piss off, we’re busy here.”

John stepped up from behind Vegas, brushing back his coat to reveal two silver pistols. “I’m afraid we have to interfere. You see, you’re abusing our new cabin boy.”

The fat one looked at the blooded and bruised boy he held, then back to John with a confused look. “Whaut, you mean ‘es runt?”

Vegas smiled, playing with the tassel on the hilt of her sword. “Precisely.”

The small man let out a loud nasally cackle. “Sorry Captain Cross-Dresser, this one here ain’t for sale. He’s property of Captain Bart.”

“Last time I checked,” John said in a low dangerous voice, “Good ole Barty was rotting away in a prison cell somewhere.”

“No thanks to you buggers!” the small man spat. “Luckily though, our captain’s launched himself out a month back.”

The large man laughed deeply. “That’s right! And he’s looking for you Captain ‘Julius’ Vegas.”

Vegas dropped her smug countenance as the severity of what the little minion said sunk in. Captain “Bloody” Bartholomew had earned his nickname years ago and lived up to it since. Along with being the most notorious pirate on the high seas, he had been a major chore to get rid of for Vegas and John.

“Trust the government to get rid of a cockroach for ya…” John muttered to Vegas.

“Guess we’ll have to exterminate him ourselves then,” Vegas replied quietly. “All right then boys,” Vegas announced. “You go tell your captain I gave him my regards and in the meantime you’ll leave the boy here.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” the fat one growled. “This here is Bloody Bart’s,” he said, thrusting the boy forward.

John looked over his shoulder at his captain, trying to judge what her next move would be. “Captain?”

"Well, if he's Barty's property, there isn't much of a choice is there?" Vegas’s expression broke into a mischievous grin. “Let’s finish this,” she ordered.

John turned back to the sailors, withdrew his pistol and aimed it at the fat one’s head. “Right then. Boy. Now.”

“Over my dead bod-“

Suddenly the shot of a pistol rang through the alleyway followed quickly a sharp cry of pain. “Sonnva-“ the fat one cursed, dropping the boy to nurse his wounded hand. He didn’t even have time to stick his bleeding hand in his mouth before Vegas shot forward, driving her bony shoulders into his gut, forcing him to slam into the wall.

“You little bitch!” the small one screamed as he reached for his pistol. John quietly slinked up behind him, landing a blow on the enemy’s head with the butt of his pistol. As the small one slumped to the ground, the fat one regained his bearings.

“You’ll pay for that one…” he rumbled, standing up slowly. Vegas however, grabbed the back of his neck and throwing her whole weight into the move, drove his face into the dirty ground, slamming the hilt of her sword into the back of his head.

Vegas and John stood up slowly, watching the two sailors on the ground with caution. “You think we got em?” Vegas asked, a little out of breath.

John knelt next to the two men, poking them none too gently in the head. “I think we got em,” he replied. “Good teamwork.”

“Next time you get the fat ones,” Vegas replied. “A petite little girl like me shouldn’t have to deal with these brutes.”

“It’s what you signed up for,” John said, putting his pistol away. He turned towards the boy on the ground. “Looks like this one’s unconscious,” he said, kneeling next to the small boy. “Are we really gonna take him with us? I mean, Barty’s already hunting you down.”

“Eh, I figure why not,” Vegas replied. “It’s not like treating him nicely is gonna make him hate me any less,” she said, playing with the tassel on her sword absentmindedly. “I never quite pegged Barty as the forgiving type.”

“Well,” John said as he picked up the sleeping boy. “If what those idiots said was true then it’d be in our best interest to leave Miller’s Port.”

“Agreed.” Vegas walked over and brushed the mud matted hair out of the boy’s face. “He’ll probably be wantin this little guy back too.” The boy’s face was badly swollen and bruised, but nothing appeared to be badly broken on him.

Vegas smiled at the child, a rare sort of motherly smile. “Come on, let’s get this little guy to Mary. She’ll clean him up.”

©Elizabeth Caldwell, 3/9/07

Edits and concrit always welcome.

Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T04:38:36Z

Last one!

Title: Valentine's Day

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Pairing/Characters: Koizumi, Haruhi

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa.

Word Count: 1,243

Dedication: For my valentine Jo! I love ya dear, espically now that I've been hooked on alt pairings XD

Summary: While he had enough chocolate to provide a snack for the next few days, Koizumi was hoping for something a little more... special.

The night sky was that evening was breathtaking. Despite the glaring lights of the city, a handful of twinkling stars had managed to make it out of the black abyss, shining brilliantly. The duller stars blended together in the background, like a master artist had smudged white paint on navy canvas, but even this didn’t do justice to the beauty that Koizumi viewed from the familiar intersection.

They lived in a fairly populated area of the city, but it wasn’t so full of pedestrians that Koizumi’s stargazing was regularly interrupted. A few couples would pass by, enjoying each other’s company on the day that was Valentine’s Day.

Even if it was a childish holiday, he was glad that the ones that celebrated it had received such a favorable backdrop for their romantic encounters.

He himself had received more than a few gifts, but he didn’t return the sentiments with as much zeal. He took them with his usual content smile and a “Thank you”, but in reality he didn’t care about any of them. Not much, not even the pure and hopeful emotions of a girl in love could penetrate his passive mask.

The mask he wore was essential. It kept Suzumiya-san happy and completed her little cast of characters. If Suzumiya-san wasn’t happy, well, he thought, things wouldn’t turn out well. For the past year, Koizumi wore the entertained bystander mask, doing everything in his power to make Suzumiya-san happy.

As he stood against the light pole, he considered the story of the man wearing the mask. The man wore the mask for so long that when he finally took it off and looked in the mirror, his face resembled the mask. He was no longer himself.

And so it happened for Koizumi. The longer he wore the mask, the more passive he became. The longer he pretended to care only about Haruhi’s happiness, the more he did.

At first, he only cared about Suzumiya-san’s happiness to make his job easier. However, the longer he stayed with her, he the more he became invested in her genuine happiness, making her happy for the sake of her being happy.

It was strangely sentimental for the ESPer, he thought to himself. But those were the facts. He’d become fascinated and (over time) infatuated with the Brigade Chief.

Koizumi chuckled at the ridiculous feelings he harbored, playing with the bag of chocolate in his pocket. This one was special as it had come from Haruhi herself. Granted, she had made one for everyone in the SOS Brigade, but still. He was important enough in her life to be included in her thoughtful gestures.

They’d had a small party in the clubroom, but seeing as how it was a school night they had to disband earlier than Suzumiya-san preferred. Kyon had been asked to stay behind by Asahina-san, just long enough for her to give him her chocolate. The boy was probably glowing on his way home and Koizumi would’ve swung by to make fun of him, but he had more important matters to consider.

Suzumiya-san was unhappy. He’d seen the extra box in her jacket, probably meant for Kyon. She could’ve ordered the boy to stay behind with her instead of Asahina-san, but for some reason she didn’t exercise her authority. It figured that the one time she most needed her courage, Suzumiya-san bailed out.

Koizumi sighed. Such were the ways of love. Suddenly he spotted a lone pedestrian out of the corner of his eye. Speak of the devil.

“Hello there,” he said cheerfully to the approaching Suzumiya-san.

Haruhi regarded him with a skeptical eye, typical of her bad moods. Surprise turned to skepticism in the blink of an eye. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Just enjoying the scenery,” he replied, indicating the star-studded sky. “Care to join me?”

The high school girl looked at his merry smile before coming over to stand beside him. “Do you do this often?” she asked.

“Oh, when I can. My job keeps me out late so usually I’m too tired to do anything.” He stuffed his hands inside his pockets.

“Is that so?” When she looked up at the heavens, Koizumi noted the return of the usual sparkle that lit her eyes.

The pair stood there for several minutes, just watching the sky and contemplating their greater purpose in life. “Do you think they’ve heard me yet?” she asked suddenly.

Koizumi smiled. “I suppose so.”

“Then why am I still here?”

The question was a simple one but she said it with such pain that Koizumi couldn’t help but look down at her. Haruhi was still looking up, her expressive face painted with a pained longing.

In that moment, Koizumi could feel his mask slipping. It wasn’t as much as a slip as much as it was a loud crack that resonated inside him, his heart constricting.
It physically hurt him to see her in pain, something that had never happened before. He knew that no matter how much she wished it, no matter what world she accidentally created, the trials and pains of life would follow her. No matter what mask he wore, no matter what he did, there was very little he could do to comfort her.

Without any warning, he felt the strong desire to embrace her, protect her from what was happening. He knew doing so would carry some strong repercussions: he was the bystander, the support system. She asked things of him, not the other way around.
But he only wanted one thing from her tonight.

Silently, he slipped his arms around her shoulders. He could feel her stiffen immediately as he rested his forehead against the back of her head, breathing in the smell of her shampoo. It was easy to imagine the surprise on her face and Koizumi would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been so scared of her reaction.

He took a deep breath as the last bit of his mask fell.

“Would you consider giving me the chocolate you made for him?” he asked softly, almost timidly.

A sharp gasp answered his question and he tightened his hold, like a small child holding onto his favorite stuffed animal. It felt good to finally let some emotion through.

He smiled inwardly at the clichéd feeling he was experiencing, but he truly did want to stay like this forever. His mask discarded, holding the girl he loved under a star studded sky. But he knew it wouldn’t stay like this for long; eventually Haruhi would begin to function again and boy was he going to answer for this stunt.

Luckily, his cell phone beat her to the punch.

Sighing, he withdrew his hold and opened the message sent to him. They had another Shinjin and this time it was a big one. Koizumi smiled wryly, half expecting the message anyway.

“You’ll have to excuse me Suzumiya-san,” he said.

Haruhi whipped around to face him, confusion written all over her face. “What?”

“It’s business. I’m terribly sorry, but I’ll have to take my leave.” He turned in the direction the text had directed him.

“Now wait a minute!” Haruhi yelled after him, but he only waved over his shoulder as he walked away.

“Good night Suzumiya-san!” he called back with his usual cheerfulness.

With that he walked off, slowly but surely building his mask back up. When he finally arrived at the designated spot, he was his old smiling self.

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and concrit always welcome.

Shift of Power

2007-02-14T04:21:09Z

Second out of three one-shots I've got with me.

Title: Shift of Power

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Pairing/Characters: Koizumi, Haruhi

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa.

Word Count: 2,065
Summary: One of the best things to get a ball rolling is an impromptu date.

The way their relationship worked was thus: what she wanted, he complied. What she said, he agreed. She asked things of him and he never asked things of her. Suzumiya Haruhi was the queen; Koizumi Itsuki was her loyal knight.

In his mind, it was Koizumi’s sole duty to protect the Queen of the SOS Brigade from whatever may come her way. By doing so, not only was he protecting her and himself, he was protecting the world.

His job looked pretty simple on paper, but as is the case with most jobs, it was much more difficult in practice. After all, Suzumiya Haruhi was a human who had to face the same trials and tribulations as the rest of the world. That included flu in her childhood, alienation in her adolescent years, and most recently heart-break.

It was the lastest enemy that Koizumi found the most annoying. It was the one that produced the biggest, meanest Shinjin. It was also the problem that could only be solved by a certain boy getting a clue. Despite his calm countenance and patient smile, there were times when Koizumi wanted to beat Kyon with a clue bat.

Unfortunately for him, no such weapon really existed (although he was tempted to have Haruhi create one) and so he had to stand by and watch his Queen suffer heart-break and battle the demons it created.

It was possibly one of the worst jobs in the world.

Things didn’t get any better as time went on. His frustration with Kyon turned to jealousy. Here he was doing everything in his power to make Haruhi content and happy and yet she was still infatuated with the normal, clueless, teenage boy.

It took him a while to figure out why he was jealous of Haruhi’s attention to Kyon. It took him even longer to decide whether or not he really did love her and that it wasn’t him acting out of a sense of duty.

When he finally got everything figured out and decided, no one knew. That was how good he was at his job. Nagato-san might’ve picked up on something, but since nobody drew any attention to his well hidden affections, he was content to let things be.

The caste system had been set. A knight could never be with his queen. He could only do as she said, never asking anything in return. And he would do it with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~

The shift in power occurred on a clear day in March. It was the type of day in the midst of emerging spring when you could physically feel the energy of the earth rejuvenating around you. Suddenly the sky was bluer, the birds sang more clearly, and you felt like doing nothing but being outside. The body got a boost no energy drink could provide and confidence abounded.

Such days as these are probably the reason for the stereotypical feeling of “love being in the air”. It wasn’t as much love as it was the confidence to confess love. On days such as these, even rejection didn’t hurt as much.

Koizumi had snuck out onto the roof, a soft breeze ruffling his hair. Days like this made life worth living. School had let out while ago although the clubs were still around. He could hear the track club warming up over by the gym and the soccer club was starting to meet over in the field.

The ESPer himself was doing what he liked best: thinking. This time, as it was many other times, his thoughts wandered to the SOS Brigade and to the Chief that brought them all together. Haruhi had been getting a little restless lately, agitated and unhappy. This wasn’t a good thing as it made his job much harder.
From what he had to guess with, it probably had something to do with Kyon this time. Emotions like this would come and go, on and off, like she couldn’t decide whether or not she liked the boy. The flip-flopping probably had something to do with Kyon’s complete obliviousness and passivity.

Haruhi wasn’t the only one that was restless. The Agency was demanding to know why the Shinjin had been so vicious lately, and the only explanation he could provide was “It’s a school girl crush.” For people such as the incredibly logical Agency, this wasn’t a good enough answer. They argued among themselves of how to fix it and if anyone should be eliminated.

There were always people on the board that wanted someone eliminated. These people usually spent much of their time fighting the Shinjin while others organized everything.

Koizumi himself was a lackey and beyond having a direct influence over the “Mother” of all ESPers, he had very little status. His position was very much similar to Asahina-san’s with the exception that he knew what the Agency was thinking at all times. The poor Brigade mascot often had to fumble her way through her assignments.

Yet through this entire process of debates one more thought plagued him.

More often lately he found that he wasn’t content with being the perfect knight any more. He wanted to be the prince that rescued the princess. It was a dangerous thought to have, one that every so often would slip from under his smiling face and into the open. It was desire that was jeopardizing him and possibly the entire world.

It was his fault for letting it get so far, he thought to himself. If he’d stopped it sooner, something like this never would’ve happened. But it had and there wasn’t much he could do about it.

As he heaved a long sigh, he heard the door to the roof clang open. Suzumiya Haruhi appeared before him with a surprised expression that made her look adorable. It was when she was caught off guard that she looked the best, Koizumi pondered.

“What are you doing up here?” she demanded. “Shouldn’t you be in the club room?”

“I could say the same for you,” Koizumi chuckled.

“I’m the Brigade Chief, I can do whatever I want,” she said with an authorities tone. She walked over to the wall Koizumi was leaning on and looked out over the campus. “It’s a beautiful day,” she muttered quietly.

Koizumi raised a quizzical eyebrow. Normally Haruhi would’ve barged into the club room and taken everyone on an impromptu field trip to enjoy the day. Yet she was up here, seemingly seeking solitude.

“I bet the others are down there,” he said cheerfully.

Haruhi made some verbal agreement. “Probably,” she said, her voice sounding almost sad. Suddenly she sprang up, messing up her hair in frustration. “Argh! I can’t stand this!”

Koizumi regarded the girl with an amused smile, genuinely entertained by Haruhi’s antics. “What is it that you can’t stand?”

“It’s such a beautiful day outside! It shouldn’t be this nice when I’m feeling this… Ah!” She let out another growl of frustration before collapsing on the wall again, eyebrows furrowed.

The ESPer chuckled again. For someone as unexpressive as Koizumi, Haruhi was a joy to behold. She never held anything back, no matter how much it might hurt. “We could go out to the café.”

“No money.”

“Kyon could pay.”

Haruhi muttered something under her breath.

“Pardon?”

“No Kyon.”

Something grabbed Koizumi’s heart and squeezed. “I see,” he said quietly.
Haruhi wasn’t frustrated with life but with herself. Whenever she was around Kyon she felt like things inside her went out of control. If one thing could be said about Haruhi, it was that she needed to feel in control. And right now the only control she had was not to see Kyon even though he was probably the one she wanted to see most.

It sucked to be insightful sometimes. Koizumi understood things he never wanted to know, and this bit of information was the twisted knife in his heart.

“I have an idea,” he said finally. “Let’s go to the café.”

“No money,” Haruhi repeated, this time a little more forcefully.

“I have money,” he replied. “It can just be the two of us. My treat.”

Haruhi looked up at Koizumi from her folded arms, perhaps wonder what was really going on. He in return smiled warmly.

“…Fine.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That was great!” Haruhi exclaimed, practically bouncing ahead of Koizumi. “Wouldn’t it be great if robots like that were real? You could fight a whole army with those things!”

“Actually Suzumiya-san, robots like that are physically impossible,” Koizumi replied. “They’re much too top heavy and the proportions aren’t right for moving like they did in the movie. Japan might be able to build a giant robot but it wouldn’t be good for much.”

Haruhi pouted. “I guess so…”

Koizumi laughed. It was necessary to eliminate any ideas like those from Haruhi’s mind or else the laws of physics might be re-written to accommodate for giant killing robots. Part of him also enjoyed seeing the cute pout on the Chief’s face.

“Wow, the sun’s almost down,” Haruhi remarked as they stepped outside the theater. “I can’t believe we were out all afternoon.”

What had started as a therapeutic trip to the café had turned into a full fledged date. After they’d sat at the café for a while they walked around town enjoying the energy that came from a beautiful spring day. They’d passed a movie theater and Haruhi decided they should go see the new anime movie that was playing (on Koizumi’s dime of course).

“You know what sounds really good right now?” Haruhi suddenly said. “A crepe!”

Koizumi winced inwardly; he had not been prepared to fund a date when he left the house. None the less, a crepe at this time of day did sound pretty good. So they headed off towards the park, Koizumi silently reminding himself that he needed to stop by the bank on his way home.

When they arrived at the crepe stand the sun had almost disappeared over the horizon. They headed towards the station in comfortable silence, each eating their treat and enjoying the last few hours of what had been a wonderful day.

“Itsuki-kun,” Haruhi said quietly as they left the park. “Thank you.”

Koizumi smiled; this time it was a real smile. “Anything for Suzumiya-san,” he replied, meaning more than he let on.

Somehow Haruhi faintly picked up the double meaning and shot a strange look at the Assistant-Chief. “Now that I think about it, it was pretty selfish of us to leave the others behind.”

Koizumi’s stomach fell. It had been such a nice time, just the two of them. “I suppose so,” he said, his voice static although he was still smiling. No matter what he was thinking, his face would always remain in a permanent smile around the SOS Brigade Chief.

Haruhi was quiet again, the sad and frustrated look returning like a storm cloud.

Koizumi kept silent, realizing with painful clarity that their day together hadn’t been able to ease her pain. Then again, what did he expect? To completely erase Kyon from her mind in one day?

The train station lights had been on for a while when they arrived. Koizumi walked Haruhi to the platform and waited with her like any gentleman would do.

“Why did you do this?” she asked suddenly with a biting tone.

Koizumi regarded her cautiously behind his grinning expression. From her tone of voice, the girl felt she was heading into un-chartered territory and she wasn’t all that happy with what she might discover there.

If this were any other day he might’ve come up with something about how they needed the Brigade Leader to be in good spirits. He might’ve said something about doing anything to make a friend happy. Instead he said something even he didn’t expect.

“It’s my job to protect you,” he said with a warm expression.

“Protect-“

At that moment the train pulled into the station and anything else Haruhi might’ve said was drowned out.

As the doors slid open and people surged out, Koizumi gently took her hand and kissed it. “Let’s do this again,” he said with a smile.

He didn’t look back as he walked away from Haruhi before she regained some sense of what had just occured. He prayed that perhaps she would board the train and not demand an explination he wasn't ready to give.

The first move had been made. Only time would tell if the power shifted between them from Queen and Knight to Prince and Princess.

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and concrit always welcome.

A Painful Relationship

2007-02-14T04:00:27Z

Three fics tonight, all three one-shots, all three Koizumi/Haruhi (one-sided), one for Valentine's Day ^_^ I was on a role! It's my first shot at some sort of romantic fic so be nice in your concrit please.

Title: A Painful Relationship

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Pairing/Characters: Koizumi, Haruhi, mention of Kyon

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa.

Word Count: 365 (the same number of days in a year! Whoa!)

Summary: If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

It was an odd sort of relationship. It was an affair without it being an affair. It was one-sided love for both parties. It was friends with benefits when they both knew they were more than friends.

No matter how one put it, it was a very painful relationship.

For one thing, she didn’t love him. She was in love with someone else, someone who loved her back but just hadn’t gotten the clue yet.

For another thing, he only thought he loved her for her, but if he wanted to be painfully honest with himself, he would tell himself that he only loved her because he was supposed to.

And so things went on like this for quite some time. She would come to him, frustrated and angry, he would hold her and kiss her and tell her things would be okay.

For a while she would take what he said and be content with it, using him as a substitute for who she really longed for. He would do these things and congratulate himself on averting another crisis.

Then they got older, more mature. She no longer took what he said in comfort. She demanded to know why he did these things, yelled at him, telling him she didn’t love him, asking him why he did this. He would smile tenderly and say that he loved her, that he would be here until she found true happiness.

However, as he watched her sleep, he would wonder to himself “Why do I do this to myself?” There were other ways of being there for her. Why this particular way? If anything, it made things worse for her.

It was about a week before he realized that she’d stop coming to see him. It was two weeks when he realized he missed her. A month had passed when it occurred to him that he really had loved her.

A year went by before he saw her again. She was at a café, looking as bright and beautiful as before, long before she and he ever began. He smiled to himself, thinking she finally looked truly happy.

The man she loved had finally gotten a clue.

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and concrit always welcome.

Rizu's Christmas Poem

2006-12-25T18:54:43Z

It's Christmas, so I created a poem. A bad poem, but a poem none the less. No, I'm not being modist, it's just that bad. I've never been a poet.

Title: Rizu's Christmas Poem

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: Ranma 1/2

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi while Kurizu, Kotori, and Jhim all belong to me.

Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, Rizu dons her Santa costume and spreads a little holiday cheer. A spin off of Plan B.

Twas the night before Christmas as I stalked the streets

With a giant bag on my back full of goodies and sweets.

I wore a big red suit and a cute little hat

So I might seem like Santa perpetrating the act.

Every time I would stop, I’d leave behind a gift,

And as I went on my load became easier to lift.

At the Nekohaten I left a big bag:

Jewels for Shampoo, new books for the hag.

I spotted Ryouga in his make-shift bed

And left him a blanket and pillow for his head.

Into the Tendo’s I quietly tread

And on the table left quite the spread.

Kasumi I left some nice smelling candles

For Soun a travel game set with removable handles

I gave Nabiki a pair of new slippers,

Not the house kind but the silk ones that glitter.

That night Akane gained a yellow shawl

As well as a bracelet we’d seen at the mall.

The Saotome’s gifts were easy to make,

Ranma got pie, Genma got cake.

I stopped by Kurizu’s, just for a while

To drop off some cookies I’d hope make him smile.

I’d chosen a stuffed dog as Kotori’s gift,

With all that done I’d bout ended my shift.

I quietly entered Jhim’s silent home

And spotted him sleeping in the corner alone.

On the table I left him a scarf made from scratch

But paused just as I reached the window latch.

Nervously I knelt by his bed

And planted a kiss on top of his head

“Merry Christmas,” I said with a smile.

”Sweet dreams, I’ll see you in a while.”

I returned home, happy with my fable

When I noticed two gifts on my table.

The first one from Jhim, a pretty blue hat,

But the second one was much bigger than that.

I grinned to myself; tomorrow’d be fun.

A girl named “The Liz” had given me a paintball gun.

©Ranma ½ is property of Rumiko Takahashi; Original Characters of Plan B property of Elizabeth Caldwell

Edits and concrit always welcome.

The Confusion of the SOS Brigade: Prolouge

2006-12-24T06:00:14Z

I've finally got it written down. Some of it anway.

Title: The Confusion of the SOS Brigade

Author: Nonplussed Pirate

Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Chapter: Prolouge

Disclaimer: The SOS Brigade and Co. are property of Nagaru Tanigawa.

Summary: Suzumiya Haruhi isn't in the dark any longer thanks to a mysterious entity with hidden motives.

Suzumiya Haruhi wore a deep scowl on her face. Her hair changed daily with styles ranging from normal to downright bizarre. She never spoke to anyone unless they were three word answers, always spoken like a military general.

No, I’m not talking about the first time I met Suzumiya Haruhi. Over a year has passed since then and life as the way I viewed it has altered dramatically. I now lived in a world where aliens, ESPers and time-travelers all co-existed in one illegal after-school club known as the SOS Brigade.

I also lived in a world where behavior such as described above from the Brigade Commander for an extended amount of time was cause for panic.

We were close to panicking.

For the past two weeks, Haruhi had resorted to her old ways. Most of the time she ignored the world, staring out the window with her face set in frustration. Occasionally, she would show signs of life by jerking into a half-hearted fighting stance before slowly easing back into her melancholy state. Other times, I would find her madly scribbling out mathematic formulas, like the answer to all her problems lay in some obscure theorem. While this certainly had been the case before, I didn’t think that incident had anything to do with what was happening now.

“She’s waging a war inside her mind,” Koizumi said matter-of-factly.

Well that was obvious. The question was who was fighting who?

The ESPer responded with his characteristic shrug. “We’re not entirely sure,” he said. “However, not only have more instances of closed space appeared, but they have gotten smarter.”

I knew who they were of course, but I couldn’t imagine how those haphazard monsters could’ve gotten any more intelligent.

“It’s not so much intelligence as much as it is they’ve become better built, more agile, a little smarter in how they defend themselves.”

I thought of the restless girl behind me scribbling out equations and physic properties. It couldn’t be…

“Unfortunately it seems that way. All this combined with Suzumiya-san’s recent behavior has led us to believe that somehow Suzumiya-san is controlling the avatars.”

I frowned, partially contemplating my next move on the chess board. All this grim talk had distracted me and given Koizumi an advantage.

“I thought you said she was losing power,” I said, taking his bishop with my knight.

Koizumi winced at his loss on the board. “That was the case until recently,” he said, staring at the board. “We’re losing more and more men each night. It’s become quite the problem.”

I sighed heavily. Just when you think that girl was calming down, she goes out of her way to prove you wrong.

“Okay then, let’s assume she’s become aware of her strength,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “Don’t you think she would’ve acted by now?” Knowing Haruhi she wouldn’t have wasted any time in using her power to do god knows what.

“There is always the possibility that she’s already acted,” Koizumi replied. “But there’s a different possibility that’s being discussed in the Agency.”

Oh? And what would that be?

“Suzumiya-san’s being controlled.”

Now that was a frightening thought. It was true that if she was being controlled, at least Haruhi’s insanity could be contained. The scary part was the fact that we would have no idea what the motives of the person controlling her were.

I wasn’t sure which was the lesser of the two evils.

“Regardless, the Agency is watching our Commander’s every move and if necessary, will consider going to more extreme measures.”

If it were possible, I was beginning to dislike this Agency almost as much as I disliked the Integrated Data Society. All these large organizations moving around in the shadows made me nervous. At least I knew I could trust the Asahina-san’s boss; I doubted very much that Asahina-san (Big) would want anything to happen to Asahina-san (Small). Even there though I was unsure of her motives.

Yuki’s story was pretty much the same as Koizumi’s. “I have been ordered to keep watch over Suzumiya-san for any irregular occurrences,” she said to me. “If any changes occur, I will let you know.”

With that, I tried to rest assured that all this would die out quickly. Another week went by and nothing had changed. Haruhi gradually stopped appearing in the club room after school, but instead of easing our nerves her absence only made it worse.

By Wednesday, I’d felt as though things had gone on long enough. “Oy, Haruhi,” I said to her.

She looked at me sideways, still facing the window. “What?” she asked icily.

“What’s going on?” I asked with as much annoyance as she had responded with. “You’ve been acting really weird lately.”

Haruhi turned in her seat to face me better, studying me silently with a searching look. It almost looked like she was about to tell me something when her annoyed expression snapped back in place. “It’s nothing,” she said stonily.

That was all I got out of her.

So I continued living my life as best as I could, knowing that if something were to go seriously wrong I would know about it.

The rest of that week was the calm before the typhoon that was about to test the entire SOS Brigade.

©Plot by Elizabeth Caldwell, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and all related are property of Nagaru Tanigawa

Edits and concrit always welcome.

The Quest for the Perfect Egg Roll!

2006-12-22T05:34:49Z

She’d always been a strange one that was for sure. If anyone ever wanted the power to read people’s minds, all he would have to do would be to talk to her for ten minutes. At the end of the ten minutes, any wish he might’ve had would disappear forever.

None the less, there were just a few times when I would look at her and she would seem a thousand miles away. And those times, those times only, I would wonder what was going on inside her mind.

Today, for example; we were all discussing before class where we should go for lunch. One of our friends suggested that we walk to the Chinese buffet down the street.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea,” she said with her usual enthusiasm. “I’ve really been craving egg rolls.”

With that said, class began. During the lecture however, I noticed that she had abandoned her notes entirely in favor of looking out the window with an expression of longing on her face. One couldn’t help but wonder what was on her mind that would make her wear such an emotion on her sleeve…

In our hero’s mind, the quest for the Perfect Egg Roll had already begun. She was planning out the best plan of attack, for there were many perils between her and her Holy Grail.

First, she would pick her team of crusaders to aid her in this quest. They would have to be brave knights of valor and honor, but most importantly, they must have a car! She sighed in despair at this thought. The call of the egg roll would bring too many and not one car would fit them all. No, she would not abandon her comrades in a selfish desire to reach the end of her quest.

Instead they would have to brave the three perils of the Holy High School Lunch Pilgrimage.

Unfortunately, the first peril would be the very people that surrounded her: her classmates. Individually, these teenagers were of keen intellect and cunning. In large numbers however, they were nothing more than mindless zombies, roaming the high school halls with little regard for those around them. That is what made the hallways so dangerous; it was no shock to hear a story of a trampled student or a jostled classmate.

But ah ha! There was a way to defeat this dragon! Our hero knew of the Secret Shortcut of the Courtyard, the only way by which one could get from one side of the school to the other in physical safety. However, even this passage way had its pit falls: the Moats of the Drain. These pools of water often collected right in the middle of the sidewalk, growing smaller or larger at their leisure. The danger was nothing though in comparison to the hallways, so she was willing to risk it.

Beyond the Secret Shortcut lay the second peril: The Frog’s Maze, named thusly after the classic game “Frogger.” Here our hero and her friends would have to use their keen observation and lightening quick maneuvering to avoid being hit. She sighed, knowing in her heart of hearts that this was the place where most traveling parties failed. The perils were great and students in their panic had been known to throw their friend’s in dangers way instead of fighting the automobiles themselves. She prayed this would not be the fate of her friends.

The third peril was a tricky one, and would often only appear at the very moment when one thought her goal had been achieved: lack of funds. It was a fight our hero had often fought and often failed. She wondered to herself how much money she had on her person when she remembered the gift from King Dad and Queen Mom: her debit card! Every week it was replenished so that our hero wouldn’t starve and joy of joys! Today was the day of payment!

Our hero smiled to herself, having realized that with this last peril defeated, the other trials would fall quickly for nothing could match her desire for the Perfect Egg Roll!

On second thought, I think I'll remain blissfully ignorant.

©Elizabeth Caldwell, 12/21/06

Edits and concrit always welcome.

Pirate Story: Prolouge "Damsel in Distress"

2006-12-19T03:55:51Z

Because I have no title for this as of yet, we'll just call it Pirate Story.

Prologue
Damsel in Distress

“Never avoid a quarrel: seek out the hazards of high adventure.”
-The Three Musketeers

In a time in history when all known large land territories had already been discovered and populated, only one place in the whole world was had yet to be conquered. The sea was a lawless place, filled to the brim with pirates and other such evils, some of this world, some of another. As it was, it fell on the shoulders of the Royal Navy to enforce the laws of man on a population that rejected such things.

Captain William Cane was a man of the Navy, and he was quite proud of that fact. It had always been his dream to follow in his father’s footsteps and become an Admiral, famous for capturing and hanging the scum of the sea known as pirates.

However, as things were now, Cane was not satisfied. To put it simply, he wasn’t in the Navy just yet. Instead, he sailed for a large trading company that sailed under the Navy’s protection, the Eastern Royal Trading Company. Right now he was carrying a cargo of spices from the Vindi countries as well as a few boxes of foreign gifts from the King of Vindi to the King of Celtria.

Yes, Captain Cane had a little ways to go before he did indeed achieve his dream, but he was optimistic about his prospects. His father was famous in the Navy and had promised to put a good word in for his only son.

“Captain!” a man called out from the side of the ship. “Captain, come here, you won’t believe this!”

Captain Cane left his post and hurried over to the man that had called out. A crowd was forming around him and they were all looking out into the sea and gesturing widely. Cane pushed his way to the front and looked out to see a lone lifeboat rowing fast towards his own ship. In that little lifeboat was something he never expected. “Good lord! It’s a woman!”

And indeed it was. Coming towards them was a young woman that looked a little worse for wear.

“Go out there and get her! Now!” Cane barked.

“But sir,” one of the nearby sailors piped up. “What if it’s a trap?”

“Are you insane?” the Captain snapped back. “That is obviously a damsel in distress. Now go!”

The captain’s orders were obeyed without hesitation and it wasn’t long until the young woman was standing before Cane. She looked like she was about to faint but despite that she continued to thank the captain profusely.

“Oh thank you sir, thank you so much,” she said in a pretty voice with tears in her eyes. “I’ve been a captive on the RC Annie for two weeks now, surrounded by the most horrible pirates you can imagine!”

“How dreadful!” Captain Cane exclaimed. “Come; let us get you cleaned up.” He led the tired woman to his cabin and had his assistant draw a bath for her. “I have to return to the deck for the moment ma’am,” he explained. “My assistant here is the perfect gentleman and will help you as much as you wish.”

The young woman smiled widely and almost began to cry again out of gratitude. “I can not begin to thank you enough for your kindness,” she said. “If there is anything at all that I can do-“

“All I request,” the young man said. “Is your presence at dinner with me.”

The young woman nodded again and graced Cane with a dazzling smile. “I would love to,” she responded. She attempted to curtsey but almost lost her balance due to lack of energy.

The captain held her up and smiled down on what he now saw to be a beautiful young woman, no more than twenty years old. Her grey eyes were soft and kind, giving Cane the impression that until two weeks ago she had been an innocent young woman with nothing more on her mind than the latest fashions and her most recent beau. However her face was dirty and had a haunted look underneath the grateful smile. Damn those pirates, he thought to himself. What have they done to this woman?

“I’m sorry for being rude ma’am,” he said. “But I realize we have yet to introduce ourselves. My name is Captain William Crane.”

“Pleased to meet you sir,” the young woman said. “My name is Julia Angeles.”

The young captain smiled gently at the woman and bowed. “Well then Miss Angeles, I will see you at dinner.” With that he took his leave of the young woman, leaving her to clean herself up. He ordered his assistant to take the young woman’s clothing and have it washed and repaired. “She can wear that dress I bought for mother,” Cane told his assistant. “I’m sure my mother wouldn’t mind, the old cow.”

He instructed his crew to keep an eye pealed for another ship near-by, especially ones of questionable origin. “There are pirates about, men,” he said. “We must be ready to defend our country and our honor.”

Dinner was served in the captain’s quarters. Cane came in to find Julia inspecting his library. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting Miss Angeles,” he said.

“No, it’s quite alright,” the young woman responded with another dazzling smile. “But please Captain, call me Julia.”

Captain Cane couldn’t help but become a little flustered with Julia in front of him. It was like something out of the story books his mother had read him when he was younger; a handsome young man rescued a beautiful young woman, the woman would fall in love and they would marry. And I must admit, he thought to himself. That is not something I would be unhappy with.

Instead he cleared his throat and crossed over to the bookshelves. “Do you read Miss Julia?”

“I must confess I do not,” she said with a sigh. “Reading was not something my mother thought to be proper for a young lady. However, she did tell me stories that her own mother had told her.”

“I see,” Cane said. “Miss Julia, may I escort you to the table.”

The red-head nodded and gave her hand to the Captain. The dinner was passed with mostly just light conversation. Cane learned that Julia was from the city of Luminos. Her father was a merchant specializing in tea and coffee. He had taken Julia and her mother on a trip to see the Caribbean, Julia having always wanted to go there.

“But on our trip our ship was captured by pirates,” Julia said. “That horrible man, Captain Vegas, he killed my father. My mother and I were kept on board and it wasn’t long until my mother died. She was sickly you see, and my father had thought the tropical air would do her good.” At this point in the story the young woman began to get a little choked up. “Pardon me Captain,” she said. “I don’t mean to bring such a difficult topic to the dinner table.”

“Not at all ma’am,” Cane responded. “I understand your pain at losing your parents, even more so in such a violent way.”

The young woman nodded. “I was kept on the ship for two weeks when one night I got a hold of the keys to my cell. I broke out and stole a life boat and have been rowing for three days. I kept going, terrified to stop in case that blackguard Vegas was after me.”

“I see,” the Captain said with a grim tone. What cold hearted man to be the cause of so much grief for such a beautiful woman.

“Miss Julia, I will personally see to it that this Captain Vegas will be hanged for what he has done to you,” he said with the conviction of a young over-confident man.

“Would you really?” Julia exclaimed, her tear rimmed eyes shinning. “Oh Captain, you’re too kind!”

“It is the least I could do for someone who has suffered as much hardship as you have,” Cane said.

He made arrangement for Julia to sleep in his cabin, see as there were very little accommodations worthy for a young woman such as herself. “I’m very sorry to impose on you in such a way Captain,” Julia said before Cane left.

“It is no problem at all madam,” Cane said. “And please, call me William.”

Julia smiled another smile that made Cane’s heart melt. “Good night William,” she said. With that she gently closed the door, leaving Cane feeling very good about himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James Smith sat atop the crow’s nest looking out over the calm sea. He hated having to keep watch at night, especially after such an eventful day. “To think, of all things, we’ve found a woman at sea,” he muttered to himself. James was of the opinion that having a woman onboard did not bode well for their voyage, especially such a strange creature that this Julia appeared to be.

He sighed deeply. It was no use though. Anyone could see the captain was bewitched by the young woman. That’s what too much education did for a man; it gave him fancy ideals and stupid notions of heroism. No, Mr. Smith was no idealist.

Suddenly his weary eye caught a glimpse of something over the horizon. “What the…?” He quickly raised the spyglass to his eye, greatly alarmed by the vision he saw. But before he could even gasp in surprise, he was hit on the head by the butt of a pistol, knocking him out cold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captain Cane was rudely awoken by the blast of a canon near his cabin. “What on earth?” he exclaimed, quickly getting dressed. In his frantic state, he felt a small pressure against the back of his head and heard the distinct sound of a gun being cocked.

“Good morning Captain,” an eerily cheerful voice said behind him. “Your crew is waiting for you on deck.”

Cane stood straight as a board, entirely caught off guard by this assault. “Who are you?” he hissed to his captor.

“Minion number three,” was the only answer the man seemed to be willing to offer him. He pushed the barrel of the pistol against the captain’s head, encouraging him to move forward.

Cane was walked to the deck where, to his dismay, his entire crew roped up and surrounded by the strangest and most frightening pirates one had ever seen. Every one of them had a large and grotesque scar on an easily visible part of their body and each wore a scowl that would make the Devil himself think twice about crossing them. Cane’s men were nervously watching their captors, not daring to make a single move for fear of losing a vital organ.

Being escorted to your crew with a gun to your head only to see Hell’s deadliest crew assembled on board your ship could take a toll on one’s nerves. Never the less, Cane reminded himself, he must show no fear and act as a proper Naval Captain, regardless of whither or not he actually was one. “Where is your captain?” Cane demanded boldly, although he could feel his knees shaking.

“He’s over there,” the man behind him said.

Cane carefully glanced over his shoulder to see a giant ship gliding along side his own. It was a magnificent ship, much larger than the one he had command over. Its dark wood gave her an eerie feel, almost like a ghost ship that had risen from its watery grave. Her mast-head was that of a beautiful maiden, blindfolded and chained to the ship. Written on its side in gold lettering was the name RC Annie.

“Vegas…” Cane hissed.

“So you have heard of him.”

Suddenly Cane thought of Julia Angeles, the fair maiden he’d rescued only yesterday. Perhaps they don’t know she’s here, he thought to himself. Perhaps she escaped…? He scowled angrily at the pirates that surrounded him and his crew, the notions of romanticism and chivalry still vibrant in his mind. I have to rescue her…

The heavy sound of a plank being laid was heard to Cane’s right. “Ah, here he comes,” the man behind him said with a grin in his voice.

Cane’s cheeks burned red as he pictured the cocky expression on his captor’s face as the Great Captain Vegas came aboard. To think, even with all his men on guard he was overtaken by a common pirate! His father would be so ashamed.

“Keep your head down,” the man behind him barked. Cane could hear the heavy footsteps of a man crossing the plank over to his ship. The man with the gun jabbed Cane’s neck and forced him forward so that he would be facing the dreaded pirate captain.

The footsteps stopped and the captain of the RC Annie jumped down onto the deck, followed by three others, the last two sounding like the footsteps of very large men. The victor strode over to face Cane, taking his time to build the suspension. Angrily, the young man strained to catch a glimpse of his mortal enemy, but Cane could barely see the man’s boots with a gun pressed to his head.

“Good morning Captain William Cane,” the man before him said with a haughty air. “I’m sorry for the rude awakening, but we pirates have a living to make you know. That whole nine to five thing, you understand.”

Cane felt the gun relieve some of the pressure on his skull and took the opportunity to look up at his bitter enemy. His bitter enemy looked nothing like he expected.

Vegas was nothing more than a young boy, barely twenty, with a feminine face and a small build. The elaborate coat he wore was easily two sizes too big for him and his legs stuck out of his large boots like twigs sticking out of the ground. His red hair jutted out of his over-stuffed awkwardly like he’d barely taken the care to comb it. Vegas looked more like a child playing at Captain then the dread pirate capable of unspeakable evils.

“Y-you’re just a boy!” Cane exclaimed.

“And you’re just stupid, but you don’t see me making a big deal out of it,” Vegas answered with an amused smile. “So what’re the numbers Angeles?” he said to the man standing behind him.

“Angeles-“ Cane repeated. Angeles had been Julia’s last name, but the man next to Vegas looked nothing like Cane’s lost angel. He was comparatively taller than Vegas though he looked only a few years older. This Angeles had dark hair and a serious, calculating expression. He proceeded to go over the list of cargo with Vegas, completely ignoring anything but the business at hand.

There is no relation at all! Julia is a young and until recently happy woman! This man looks as though he could scam his way out of hell itself if he put his mind to it!

The only explanation that Cane’s battered mind could produce was that he’d misheard, weak excuse that it was. “You there!” he yelled at the man. “What’s your name?”

The man, who’d been speaking to Vegas quietly, looked over at the defeated Cane. “Pardon me?” he asked with a bored tone.

“Your name!” Cane demanded. “Are you in any way related to Julia Angeles?”

The Angeles man looked confused for a moment as he regarded the young man. Then he sighed heavily. “For Christ’s sake Vegas, I told you to stop using my name,” he said in an annoyed tone.

“I’m Captain, I can do whatever I damn well please,” Vegas replied, equally annoyed.

“But it confuses the captives,” Angeles argued quietly.

“I fail to see how that’s my problem,” the Boy Captain said curtly. “If they’re confused, it’s their own problem for being so stupid.”

While the two pirates carried out their small disagreement, Cane studied his enemy closely. There was something strikingly familiar about Captain Vegas. Strands of his hair escaped the confines of his hat, revealing long locks of fiery red hair. His face, though much more tan, reminded the young man of someone he’d seen before.

Suddenly a strong sea wind blew across the deck, taking with it anything light that wasn’t tied down securely. It swept away the richly decorated hat on top of Vegas’s head.

It was a moment that stood out for many. For John Angeles, it was another moment when he asked himself just what he was doing in the middle of the ocean aiding a notorious pirate in a plan to take advantage of an innocent ship.

For William Cane it was a sudden realization that left him sick with humiliation and shame.

And for Julia Vegas, Captain of the RC Annie and terror of the high seas, it was the loss of her favorite pillaging hat.

“Damnit!” she yelled vehemently, her long red hair blowing violently in the wind. “Someone go get that!”

“J-Julia?!” Cane was floored. Julia, the gentle, kind, and beautiful girl he’d rescued from certain death just yesterday had this morning transmuted into the cursing, crude, and vile Boy Captain he saw before him. “It’s can’t be…”

Vegas looked down absent mindedly at her captive. “Humph,” she huffed at his expression of shock. “You know, for love at first sight it took you long enough to recognize me.”

Cane’s cheeks burned with rage. “L-love?! Why you dirty hell spawned tramp, I outta-“

Vegas wasn’t listening to him anymore, but instead had returned her attention to the numbers Angeles were presenting her. The man holding the gun to Cane’s head chuckled. “No good sir,” he said. “You’ve lost her attention now. Must be used to that by now though, loosing a woman’s attention?”

Cane was livid. To be taken by pirates is one thing, to be insulted as you stood there knowing there wasn’t a damn thing you could do in your situation was another matter, but to outwit by a woman?! That was something he found hard to swallow.

Vegas nodded affirmatively as Angeles finished his report, and then turned to Cane. “Well sir, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you get to live!” she announced with a wide smile befitting a lawyer who was collecting their payment for a lost case.

“Now, this next bit of news I call ‘bad news’ simply because I am sympathetic to your plight and realize what I am about to tell you would indeed be ‘bad news’ to you. However, it is very good news for me, so you’ll have to excuse me if I sound a little giddy.” Vegas cleared her throat and assumed a straight face. “Captain William Cane, I am sorry to inform you that we of the RC Annie have taken possession of everything aboard this ship as we see fit.”

The Boy Captain, more appropriately titled The Woman Captain, stood up straight and tall with an amused grin on her face. “I win this game Mr. Cane,” she said haughtily to her victim. “All right boys!” she announced. “Let’s load up and get out of here!”